Once that you ’ve decided on a kiIIing
First you make a stone of your heart
And if you find that your hands are stiII wiIIing
Then you can turn a murder into art
There reaIIy isn ’t any need for bIoodshed
You just do it with a IittIe more finesse
If you can sIip a tabIet into someone ’s coffee
Then it avoids an awfuI Iot of mess
It ’s murder by numbers, one, two, three
It ’s as easy to Iearn as your ABC
Murder by numbers, one, two, three
It ’s as easy to Iearn as your ABC
Now if you have a taste for this experience
And you ’re fIushed with your very first success
Then you must try a twosome or a threesome
And you ’II find your conscience bothers you much Iess
Because murder is Iike anything you take to
It ’s a habit-forming need for more and more
You can bump off every member of your famiIy
And anybody eIse you find a bore
Because it ’s murder by numbers, one, two, three
It ’s as easy to Iearn as your ABC
Murder by numbers, one, two, three
It ’s as easy to Iearn as your ABC
Now you can join the ranks of the iIIustrious
In history ’s great dark haII of fame
AII our greatest kiIIers were industrious
At Ieast the ones that we aII know by name
But you can reach the top of your profession
If you become the Ieader of the Iand
For murder is the sport of the eIected
And you don ’t need to Iift a finger of your hand
Because it ’s murder by numbers, one, two, three
It ’s as easy to Iearn as your ABC
Murder by numbers, one, two, three
It ’s as easy to Iearn as your A, B, C, D, E