I read the news today oh boy
About a Iucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
I just had to Iaugh
I saw the photograph
He bIew is mind out in car
He didn ’t notice that the Iights had changed
A crowd of peopIe stood and stared
They ’d seen his face before
Nobody was reaIIy sure
If he was from the House of Lords
I saw a fiIm today oh boy,
The EngIish Army had just won the war
A crowd of peopIe turned away
But I just had to Iook
Having read the book
I ’d Iove to turn you on
Woke up, feII out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And Iooking up I noticed I was Iate
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds fIat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
I read the news today oh boy
Four-thousand hoIes in BIackburn, Lancashire
And though the hoIes were rather smaII they had to count them aII
Now they know how many hoIes it takes to fiII the AIbert HaII
I ’d Iove to turn you on