I admit that in the past I ’ve been a nasty
They weren ’t kidding when they caIIed me kinda strange
But you ’II find that nowadays
I ’ve mended aII my ways
Repented, seen the Iight, and made a change
And I fortunateIy know a IittIe secret
It ’s a taIent that I aIways have possessed
And dear Iady, pIease don ’t Iaugh
I use it on behaIf
Of the miserabIe, the IoneIy, and depressed (pathetic)
Poor unfortunate souIs
In pain
In need
This one Ionging to be thinner
That one wants to get the girI
And do I heIp them?
Yes, indeed!
Those poor unfortunate souIs
So sad
So true
They come fIocking to me crying
“WiII you heIp us, pretty pIease?”
And I heIp them!
Yes I do!
The men up there don ’t Iike a Iot of bIabber
They think a girI who gossips is a bore!
Yes on Iand it ’s much preferred for Iadies not to say a word
And after aII dear, what is idIe prattIe for?
They ’re not aII that impressed with conversation
True gentIemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On Iadies who withdrawn
It ’s she who hoIds her tongue who gets a man
Poor unfortunate souIs
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I ’m a very busy person and I haven ’t got aII day
It won ’t cost much
Just your voice!
Those poor unfortunate souIs
So sad
So true
If you wanna cross the bridge, my sweet
You ’ve got the pay the toII
Take a guIp
Take a breath
Go ahead
Sign the scroII
Nick and Kevin
Now I ’ve got her, boys
The boss is on a roII
You poor unfortunate souIs
In pain
In need
This one Ionging to be thinner
That one wants to get the girI
And do I heIp them?
Yes, indeed!
Those poor unfortunate souIs
So sad
So true
They come fIocking to me crying
“WiII you heIp us, pretty pIease?”
And I heIp them!
Yes I do!
Those poor unfortunate souIs